Oh boy - someone please save me. My 20 yr old daughter is trying to be an adult. Of course, she doesn't see she is going about it completely wrong. Today she has the day off. She said last week that she needs to get to her college to get herself registered. So obviously, she's at the college today. NOPE! She's having fun hanging out with a friend. She still does not remember to do her chores around the house, but she's beginning to curse around me. I'm not sure why she thinks this is ok. I'm not even sure why I'm putting up with this mess. It's probably my own fears of us having the same messed up relationship that my mother and I have now. We only have animosity and no real bond. I'm afraid I'll damage my relationship with her somehow. My daughter has no idea how life really works, she's so used to having me bail her out of things. How do you stop being a parent to a child and start being a parent to an almost adult that won't listen? HHHmmmm, maybe I need to call Dr. Phil. Where's the Oprah Show when I need some advice? Maybe the thing I need to do it lay out the rules, and expect her to follow them. After all, as with any adult, if you don't follow the rules you always have the option to get your own place and make your own rules. She just doesn't get it. It's weird for me because she reminds me of my sister, N. She's just three years younger than me and she still doesn't get it (life) either. I really don't think life is that difficult to understand. You have rules you have to follow from other people and entities no matter where or who you are. You cannot expect to be the rule maker unless you really hold a position of power. You follow the rules to get to where you want to be. Obviously, along the way you'll find some rules are easier to break or bend than others. Hey, maybe I need to find a Life Rule book for her. Or better still, write my own and sign a different name to it. Then she'll be sure to read it.

Christmas - Update on Shopping

I’m nearly done now. I’ve completed my shopping for my MIL, her sisters and their grandchildren. Just have to shop for a few relatives that I never see. That’s actually the more difficult to do. What do you get for someone you are related to but never see? You really have no idea what holds this person’s interest, and even worse, you don’t care to know except for when you are looking for gift ideas. It’s not to sound like I dislike any of these people. They are actually great people…..fun….loving…..devoted family. But we all have our own lives and we don’t spend much time together.

My daughter’s were probably the easiest ones to buy for. They are 21 and 20 so electronics or clothes. We went for the electronics. Two flat screen tv/dvd combos with new Roku players. We did get them a few of those dvd packs that come with 3 or 4 movies in one pack. My oldest loves the Batman movies and we found all four movies in one packet for like $13 at Walmart. My youngest daughter is more like me……got her Sixteen Candles (yes, that old movie) and her eye candy Vin Diesel in the original Fast & The Furious. LOL

My husband is a man that is nearly perfect (for me). So he is getting a Kindle Fire, which actually just shipped out today and should be delivered tomorrow. He unfortunately knows about his gift already and is anxiously awaiting the time to get his hands on it. He is really excited. Makes the $200 (nearly) worth it.

Now my mother in law is someone I feel I know really well. (UGH) But she is still really difficult to buy for because she has snooty tastes in everything. For instances, she loves wine. Drinks it all the time, but really doesn’t know much about it as far as I can tell. So a few years back we bought her a wine refrigerator and wines. She never uses it. We bought her Lenox African American figurines that we wanted. Very expensive. Only to find out that in her will, she will be giving these items to her nieces and not her grandchildren. Oh and how she loves Chinese and Japanese food…..bought her a wok and really gorgeous plate services to share with herself and her ‘boyfriend’. Never used any of it. LOL

So why do I spend so much time going through this every year? I love the challenge of it. Every year at least one person comes to us and lets us know how much they loved their gift. That makes me happy.

Christmas Is Coming - Day #1

This morning started out like any normal Monday. Rush – Rush – Rush. I didn’t really relax until my reminder to start my Christmas shopping popped up on my Google Calendar. Starting with the kids is the most fun and the easiest part to do. I should probably save it for last, but I always worry about not getting them fun gifts……I’d hate to get them just left over stuff they didn’t want.

For cute, but inexpensive toys, I really like www.lakeside.com. Many items do not have any sort of quality in the packaging. But that is easily remedied with gift wrap and holiday decorations. They are also one of my sources for Christmas décor for my home. Items are very reasonably pricing, shipping coupons are often available.

I really hate to be predictable when it comes to giving gifts. I try to stay clear of the gift cards, anything pre-wrapped, etc. It looks like what it is…..you didn’t take any time to just picture this person in your mind for a moment and consider what they might appreciate. For adults, I am a firm believer in www.eBay.com. Because of the search tool, I can take someone’s name, favorite color, favorite animal, anything I know about that person can go into the search tool. Different things pop up, it’s actually fun to toss a name in there and see what might come up that can even be personalized.

I typed in my youngest daughter’s name a few years ago and found out there was an entire series of fairytales starring a main character using her name. The greatest part of this was that she has such an odd name, it’s always been difficult to find anything with her name. She still has the books, and tells me she plans to pass them down to her children.

So today is just day one…..we’ll see how all this progresses. If you promise not to tell, I’ll post each gift, price and picture. I’m hoping to run a few searches on more hands on and homemade gifts…..I love a project!!!!

Day #1 - Spark Me Some Energy Please

Taking a break for a couple of minutes. I watched an episode of Oprah that had fitness trainer Bob Greene on it. He said that people starting off a new healthy lifestyle should begin with 200 minutes of cardio per week. I just did 8 minutes and feel like I ran to hell and back. SSSOOOOO - we will start off with three 10 minute increments for today. I think I'm gonna have to work my way to 200 minutes. So my goal this week is (since today is already Thursday....) 90 minutes total between today and Saturday. I hope this goes ok, not great - I'm just striving for ok.

Goal for Day #4 (Sunday) is to get it to two 15 minute increments. That will put me at 210 minutes for the week......that's my only goal right now. No lbs lost, no results, just 200 minutes.

The Choice About A JOB or a job?

So I'm very anxious to get into my interview this week. But in hoping and praying for a better position to make a better life for myself and my family, I will be sad to leave my current position. They really do care about all of their employees and makes it difficult to leave when you work so closely together. Unfortunately, I would only be staying there out of loyalty to them for the comfortable position I have on a daily basis.

So I'm making the decision to look elsewhere. I've really wanted to see my husband do for himself the things he needs to do to be the person he really is......creative, intelligent and personable. If getting myself out of a comfort zone sounds bad.....I need to remind myself that it will create a new buzz for myself and my husband also. Yeah, we may struggle financially for a bit, but that's nothing new. And this time....it'll be worth it to start building a real US.

Please wish us some luck.....

My Journey With Autism

I gave birth to a beautiful daughter, Martika, over 21 years ago. Wow, times truly flies. I was 19 and in a weird living situation. Her bio dad wanted nothing to do with her was my thought, but now I think he just didn't know what he could do or even wanted to do. Of course, he hasn't seen her in over 20 years, so I'd have hoped he would have figured it out by now....oh well.

I noticed at about a year and a half, she starting acting odd with these weird type of fits and not talking like she had been. Was really hard to concentrate on it with having a new born daughter also at the time. Doctors, specialists, project child, etc.....your daughter is autistic. This was 1991. WTH is that? lol.

She went through meds, therapy and thank God, school with the Mercer County Special Services School District in Trenton, NJ. They saved my daughter. They saved me and my family. I don't think I would have been able to handle her for much longer without their intervention.

There was even a psychologist that advised me to put her into a home. No way, Jose. Not my baby. Well, despite a truly rough way to grow up for both of us.....obviously more so for her. But she did turn me into a better person and a better mom than those I came from.

My biggest lesson from her journey, never give up and never believe others that tell you to give up. There's always hope.

She's going to her prom tonight. She is graduating with a real high school diploma next month. Yeah, it took her a few extra years....AND? She's a straight A student and one of the best people I've known in my life. And guess what else? She's as goofy as goofy gets. She's my Tika.

(COMPLETELY PLUGGING HER BUSINESS TO START IN JULY - TIKA'S TRINKETS ON EBAY) lol

Spring is here

I'm trying to figure out how to do everything I want/need to do over the next few months. Thinking that I don't have enough time. Then I get mad at myself for adding even more....LOL. Oh well, not unusualy for me.
May 6th - movie night with the girls
May 7th Super Science Friday - Trenton - NJ State Museum
May 8th Mother's Day for my MIL
May 14th - Overnight club night with the girls
May 20th - daughter's prom night
May 25th - Oprah - the last show party

Planning father's day, family vacation, two more birthday parties, first day of new schools, trying to get myself into college, and just the normal daily life of a wife, mom, pet carer, friend, etc. lol.

ok, done bitching.

Prom Dresses

Prom dresses, shoes, make up, jewelry, undergarments, hair, hair accessories, OMG - WTF!!!!! None of this includes the tickets, the limos, flowers and all the other stuff that is a must for girls on prom night. But that part aside, I just pray that I don't have to worry about birth control that night or any other for that matter.

Today, Martika and I went shopping and bought her a beautiful gown. It simply accentuates what she already is - a beautiful and vibrant young woman. I was hoping that it would not take too long, it was nearly an hour. That's it. Oh well, shopping is all done. Gotta pick out jewelry and accessories.

I'll post prom pictures in a few weeks.

Let's All Wish Me Some Luck!!!!

Good Morning All - I am trying to redesign this blog, just because it's boring. If you have an opinion or advice, I'd love to hear how to make this better and easier. I BLOG FOR THE PEOPLE!!!!!

SWAK - ANNA

Testing Blogger iPhone app

Testing 123. I've always wanted to say that. Lol. If this works, I'll be much more likely to blog more often. Ok, here we go.

Relaunch Day Is Upon Us

I'm super effing excited about this. My baby, my husband - he's gonna help me get this set up right and hopefully, I learn from him how to do this more on my own. But I'm sitting here typing and writing (with an actual pen!) trying to create something that shows my personality but is also organized so I can work with it on the day to day. Here's to tomorrow. Kind of cool that my relaunch is on St. Patrick's Day!!!!! But I'm not doing it all green!!!!!! lol.

the revamp

So tomorrow night my husband will be helping me to redesign this blog. I have two goals with this tomorrow night - 1. create something inviting and interesting so other people will be entertained and maybe stop to think about my words once in a while. 2. create something inviting and interesting that will make me stick to blogging daily.

I think I need an outlet to let any/someone know how I think and what's important to me.