Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Trash

Why do people throw their garbage on the ground?

I'm tempted to not type anything else for this post. It completely pisses me off on a daily basis that I have to pick up trash from in front of my house. My household doesn't hang out in front of the house but there are always tons of potato chip bags, cigarette butts, blunt tips, hug juice containers, soda cans, etc out on the sidewalk. WTF!!!!!

The sad part is I know the people that do this and their houses already look like shit, so why are you not just keeping that garbage confined to your home? Why fuck up my stuff? Dirty bastards.

My kids know the rules.....if you are outside and have trash you have two options.....look for a trash can or stuff it in your pocket. That's it. Why is it so hard for people to know this is wrong? And I don't want to hear about any crap that it was the way you were raised, the type of neighborhood you're in, etc. That mentality is garbage and you know it. That's just laziness.

Philadelphia's Mayor Nutter had to make a concerted effort in their city to combat this situation. Why? Can you imagine having to spend tax money on telling people not to throw their trash on the ground? This is just one of the dumbest conversations to have with supposedly grown ass people.

Here's my message:

If you throw trash on the ground you are a fucking dirty, disgusting, nasty, excuse for a person with no real values and no thought of anyone but yourself. Pig!

Newton ~ The Parents

The shootings in Newton, CT began yesterday for the babies that were lost. I know we thing about the big moments those parents have lost out having with those children. But so many small moments already happened, and these make me cry. These babies were taken on a Friday. Imagine NOT waking up Saturday morning to cartoons and demands for cereal. Did they have plans to go to the museum that afternoon? Pizza that night? Movies after church on Sunday? Imagine seeing your child's bed time come up on the clock and knowing they weren't there to put to bed tonight?

You open a cabinet in the kitchen to make some tea. You are so stressed out from grief and just want a cup of tea. You open that door and see hot cocoa with the lil marshmallows that your baby wanted and begged for the last time you went to the store. You take out a mug and it's right next to the mug with Spongebob on it. You start to wonder when are you supposed to throw out that mug? Can you throw out that mug? Is it sick to keep it? How do I put any of their things in a trash bag and toss it onto a curb next to old leftovers?

These parents are going thru so much grief and tons of emotions I hope I never have to go thru.

Ann Curry of NBC is asking the world to do 20 Acts of Kindness in memory of these children. I've already seen people posting things on Facebook and Twitter telling of the things they are doing. I really wish Act #1 would have come from someone that knew of the shooter's situation and had called authorities. Then Ann Curry wouldn't have to ask people to do things they should already be doing.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Music - Is it really universal?

One of the lil bebe kids I wrote of yesterday just pissed me off for a whole 1/60 of a minute. I'm sitting on my porch listening to Klymaxx's I'd Still Say Yes with Howard Hewitt. It's one of my favs....it's just a good song. 'Lil Italy' comes up to me and asks what I am listening to, I say music and he says what kind of music. I said R&B music at the moment. He says why are you listening to that. I said because I like it, don't you like R&B music? He says yeah I like it but I didn't know you could. I said do you know it means Rhythm and Blues, not Rhythm and Black? He walked away. LMAO

I have always felt that music and art was the one area of the world that doesn't care a wit about what you look like. It doesn't care about gender, skin color, two arms or one head. It really doesn't even care if you notice it. It just needs to be. I love to listen almost any kind of music. It teaches me about more people and more experiences than those in my lil world. I get to hear others express what matters to them. I get to put myself into someone else's lil world.

It's just a great thing to not even do any of that. Just let your body flow with the music, let it rule your instincts into doing anything that comes next. Here's a few that do that for me.....

You and I by Jodeci
Amazed by Lonestar
TShirt and Panties by Adina Howard
Lately by Surface
Secret Garden by Quincy Jones
Weak by SWV

Too many to really name now that I think about it....

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Bebe Kids

My block is full of Bebe's kids.....remember those? Little ass ignorant kids with fucked up manners and personalities that make you understand the need for abortion? Ugh, not saying I'd like to get rid of any of the brats on my block. For the most part they are nice kids. But 90% of them are only after what they can get out of each other. My son, Jayden, is one of the younger kids. But we are the only house with a pool and a Wii that he and his friends are allowed to play with....and did I mention I feed the kids when they are at my house?

These kids have decided that they only come over for those reasons and are content to use my son. I face this dilemma. Do I remove the kids from who he can play with or do I allow them to use my son so he has someone his own age to play with? Most of these kids are mostly nice, but if they are not on the Wii, playing with his toys, or in the pool they pretty much ignore him. I think the part that's the most fucked up is that I've discussed this with the other parents. It was no help at all.

These are the things that make me wish for the parental hand book I never got at birth. I could deal with many things, but watching kids mess over my son is not one of them. LOL, what can you expect from Bebe kids.....

The Mrs ~ Marriage Sex

Now the first thing I have to say about this topic is that the big myth that sex gets worse after marriage is a big myth itself. I don't think it gets bad, I think it's just not as frequent. My sex life with my husband has it's ups and downs in terms of frequency, not delivery. When we do have the time together, it's gotten better. He's gotten better. I hope I've gotten better.

How can something get worse when you're learning more and more about what pleases your partner? How can something get worse when you're learning more and more what NOT to do that annoys your partner. People like me tend to over worry about this topic. My husband and I have never had any issues with cheating or anything like that. We are completely dedicated to each other, to the point that other people ask us for advice on a regular basis. He is my best friend. He's actually the greatest friend I've ever had. We can hang out, we flirt, we lean on each other, we are the biggest cheerleaders for each other. We work on our relationship every day.....but we also have a bigger strong point than I see in some of our acquaintances. We don't argue over things because we talk. We hardly ever argue. We might really argue a couple of times in a year. But for the most part I think the fact that we keep an open dialogue all the time keeps it so we are not nervous in bringing up any topic. It's normal for us to talk about anything. We recognize each others' strengths and weaknesses. We each compensate for the other.

All this keeps us having a happy sex life. Lately, we've gotten a bit more creative in doing things.....it's actually been really eye opening. I think reading 50 Shades of Grey helped that along since it made me want to get outside the box I've created around myself. I'm more willing to push and try something different. I'm lucky to have him.....because he's willing to indulge me and create some more fantasies....LOL.

The Mother In Law Saga continues......

I'm quite sure I've annoyed my mil over the years, but it's mainly for doing the unthinkable thing of not being who she expects me to be.....black, rich and adoring her. I can't be black, I haven't been able to win that lottery yet and I know her too well to adore anything about her. But it does give me a pausing moment to really think about the dilemma my husband is in because of the two of us. Does he defend the woman who brought him life? Or does he defend the woman he chose to share that life with? Or does he sit on his hands and hope it goes away? lol.

Her ability to never discuss anything but surface stuff is a huge barrier to getting through any obstacles in her relationships with other people. I can actually step out of the situation and see that she has these issues with pretty much everyone. It's her fault and not her fault at the same time. She has an unhealthy relationship that she knows is not right, but she's stuck in the hopeful dream state of what could happen if or when. With that being said, she quite the woman in her own right but she doesn't seem to realize her own success. Sad, right? She would be mortified to know the pity I feel for her. Pity, not sympathy. Every situation is what you make it to be.

I wish her the best. I hope my husband figures out a way to let them get close and be more of a family. I'm not sure if she'll let it happen, but I want him to know that he did the best by his mother. Maybe someday she'll see him for the man he's made of himself. That's not something either of us did.....he did that and he deserves the credit for it alone.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Waxing

I really wish I had the courage to post a picture of the mess I created, but I might run for president some day and I choose to not ruin that possibility. Well, it's summertime again so all the ladies know it's definitely pass time to tidy up the bikini area for swimsuits. Which method do you use? Shaving? Nare lotion? Or waxing? I've always used the shaving or the Nare methods in the past. But I decided since the waxing was suppose to last for 8 weeks, I'd give it a go.

At this point, I'm a non religious person praying that the pain doesn't last for the 8 weeks that the bare skin is supposed to last. UGH!

I bought the Sally Hanson Brazilian Bikini Wax Kit. Just under $12 at my local CVS in Trenton, NJ. I brought it home, prepared the area to be waxed. I put myself in warm water to soft the hair after having cut it to the proper length. Not shorter than 1/4 inch and no longer than 1/2 inch. I'm not saying it was perfect, I didn't think to put a tape measure down there and who in the hell can judge the exact hair length between their legs down to the quarter inch? Seriously?

I put the wax in the microwave, got it perfectly warm and spreadable as per the directions. I then applied it following the growth direction of the hair, it was actually rather pleasant. Nice and warm, smelled like lavender, it was great so far. I then applied the strip to the warm wax, made sure it was smooth.

Then I let er rip.

O.H. M.Y. G.O.D. - my non religious self began to pray in earnest for a merciful God that would convert me to believe enough in him to take away my pain. As my thoughts started to become rational once again, I realized that while the paper had my hair and wax on it, it also contained a bit of skin (not much). And while this was true, it was also true that my inner thigh still contained hair and wax. Now what? I took the exceptionally tiny bottle of fix it oil that comes in the box and used the entire bottle to get this wax off me.

All this time, did I mention I was in the bathtub doing this? While getting the wax off of my skin, I never noticed that it was dripping a bit into the tub. Can you guess what happened? I slipped and fell completely out of the tub, landing on the floor next to the bathroom door. I landed on my shoulder, neck and head. My shoulder did hurt enough to distract from the waxing taxing I put myself through. Although that only last a few minutes. Then the giggles started. I was watching Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss edition during this whole thing....she was getting skin removal surgery and I was holding my skin in my hand on the waxed paper. Ugh, life can be a big ole joke sometimes.

Even in pain and completely in giggles, I couldn't leave the other side untouched. I shaved it. Done, with no pain. I went to our bedroom, showed my hubby the damaged I had caused and told him about falling out of the tub. He was concerned. My giggles just got worse as the pain got worse. Then he noticed a huge purple bruise where the blood had been brought to the surface through sheer force from the waxing. LOL, I was a goner, even more giggles.

Pretty safe bet I giggled myself to sleep. My hubby is probably still shaking his head. LOL

Monday, May 21, 2012

The Greatest Love of All - Not Likely

This is probably going to sound completely inappropriate. Maybe it is, but it's my honest inappropriate opinion. I've always believed in the loyalty of parents toward their children. I believe that as a parent, I owe everything iota of my life toward helping my children understand and learn what they need and how to get it. That does NOT stop on their 18th birthday. It goes on until I die. I am always aware that whatever I am learning now about mortgages, debt consolidation, pedicures, ear wax build up, tax returns, etc is all information I should pass down to my babies.

I love them enough that this is a joy to do.

Most of the time.

But not lately.

I'm going to do the Kelly Ripa thing and call this child - She who shall not be named. Not because I might embarrass her, but because she is a huge embarrassment to me right now as a mom. Mom's have that thing where we always love you, but might not really like you sometimes. Well, right now I'm struggly to keep the love for her in my heart because she's doing so many hurtful things. And not just to me, but to the rest of the family, to her friends, and definitely to herself. I'm hoping that she gets herself straight without getting pregnant, jailed, or physically hurt.

It's all just details at this point, but I've finally had to take the advice of my husband and step back to let her fall. And I hate knowing that when she falls, she's gonna be paying for it for years. She has already done so much damage to our relationship with her, we seriously are ok with never seeing her as she leads the lifestyle she's got right now. The people she hangs with are as hideous as she. She's become so many nasty names that I'll choose to not publicize here. The hardest part for me is seeing her take this fall and knowing there will come a day that she will have to call or knock to ask for help....and my answer is going to be NO. It's the answer I have to give to keep teaching her those lessons.

It hurt me to watch her take her first steps and see her fall down and cry. But it's how you learn to walk for yourself. Walk, fall, cry, walk, fall, cry. She's walking the walk she's decided to take, so now she's gonna have to fall and cry on her own. I'll listen, I'll advise, but she's gonna have to pick herself up all over again.

She doesn't want to do right by me now, don't expect me to do right by you then.

Buy American?

Today a "friend" got upset at the news of AMC Theaters being bought by a Chinese movie theater company. He wanted to know why Chinese and Japanese have to own everything we have......

I have a few different questions.....

Why do Americans get upset at outside companies owning companies here? Why don't Americans get upset at the American company that put their company up for sale? Why don't American support American companies more often? Why don't people understand that business is not necessarily keeping loyalty to anyone......it's just business. Business are in business to make money. If your business is not making money, you either sell it or close it.

And I never see these same Americans complaining when they see McDonald's, Burger King, Walmart, or whomever with stores all over China, Japan, or wherever. Get over it. This world is global. Support your neighborhoods. Keep things as clean as you can. Be honest. Shop smart. Blah Blah Blah. We all buy Made in China stuff because of the prices....why should other people be any different?

Oh, one more thing.....if a person sells their company to someone else and you don't like it, you do have to three options. (1) rally support around the country to help them make a profit and keep their business. (2) buy the company yourself. (3) (ready for it....LOL?) MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

50 Shades of Grey? Color Me Red....LOL

I'm going to get this out of the way first. OH MY GOD WOW WHOA HOLY MOSES WHAT THE HELL

OK, on to my opinion of the book 50 Shades of Grey. Oh, wait....I just did that. LOL..

I absolutely do not want to give up anything for people who haven't read it, (FYI - I wish both of you would get to it) but this book is extremely hard to put down. So hard in fact that my boss probably thinks I have the stomach flu right about now as I've been sneaking my ipad to the bathroom at every opportunity. It starts off great, gets better and just stays there. It's actually hard for me to accept Ana's relationship with Christian on a level of "I'm an independent and intelligent woman".

But I do like that they love each other so much and are trying hard not to change each other that they both become a lil of what they originally believe they don't want to be......love can do all sorts of things.....

I've finished book 1 and book 2. The erotic parts of the books definitely cannot be removed as they are not just basic part of the book, but a building block of the relationship between them.

Ladies - read this book for yourselves. Enjoy it for your own pleasure. Then make your man read it for himself. And make sure he enjoys it for YOUR pleasure too. LOL

My President Obama - I'm So Proud of Him

In 2008, I experienced my first time of being excited during an election. Yes, I was completely enthralled with Mr. Obama. I donated money and talked to people till I was blue in the face about his qualities and honesty. On election day, I got up early in the morning and felt this was a moment that would always be a memory in my heart. It was and it still is. I couldn't wait to see him go from Mr. to President Obama.

In 2012, the shine and newness has worn off, but I feel no less about his qualities and honesty. He's just a good person. He's raising his family and doing his job to the best of his abilities. No one should ask for more right? Apparently, I'm wrong.

Yesterday, President Obama said in an interview with Robin Roberts that he supports a gay person's right to marry. He said he was well aware that some of his supporters and people in his circle of friends and family may not agree. He said that this was his own belief after taking time over years to think it through. (These are not exact quotes). I applaud that this is something he thought about. He didn't do this for votes. He didn't just say it. He didn't take it lightly. He thought it through. When was the last politician you heard say it took them years to think through this major belief in anything.

He was always going to get my vote. I would vote for him for those qualities and his honesty. Now I'm voting for him because of his understanding of things that while they may not reflect who he is, still represent people. Isn't the first amendment about rights?

On a side note, I'm so proud of him for taking himself out of his own religious beliefs and truly separating church and government. Do you know how he did this? People keep touting the bible says that gay people are not to be allowed. But many people keep forgetting the bible also says not to judge others. President Obama should be used as an example to the world to show that passing judgement is NOT what religion is about.....it's about love and faith. Leave the judgements to your God.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Taking a Compliment

Why is this so hard for me? Most of the time, I feel like I wish people would give me compliments but wonder what I'm doing that doesn't garner any. Then when I do get a compliment, I do everything I can to brush it away. LOL. Now I'm wondering if I do things to not get compliments due to my embarrassment of when I get them. Am I crazy? Probably. I love getting compliments regarding my kids, my hubby, etc. But personal ones make me wonder if the person giving the compliment really means it or did I do something to make them feel like they had to give me this bogus compliment. Do you see how dizzy my thought processes are? If you happen to work in the field of psychiatry, don't read these articles, you might have to prescribe something for yourself at the end of it. You've been warned. I have always looked at writers like an exceptionally intelligent crop of people. My own education was quite lacking and I didn't make it any better with all the class cutting I did. The most difficult compliment for me to take is about my writing. Whenever someone sees my writing, they nearly always like it and give me tons of positive feed back. That's why I started this blog. But I hardly keep up with it. I'm confusing myself. I'll write more later. LOL. maybe.

Parent Teacher Team Work

My son's school principal asked me to write something for their school's newletter to explain how we were able to turn a situation around. My son was failing in kindergarten and was at risk to stay back. I wrote up what we did and sent it in.

She just called me to tell me how touched and near tears she was with what I wrote. She said I'm her favorite author of the day (LOL). She feels a few parents might now be happy with this piece, but wanted me to know that she felt I understood the school dilemma in educating our children daily.

Here's the piece. (I took out staff names and the schools name for obvious reasons)

My son, Jayden, is in Miss P’s kindergarten class. He’s been doing fine all year and has come a long way since the first day of school. In March, Miss Pugh sent a note home letting us know that there was a possibility of Jayden repeating kindergarten next year, but she felt there was plenty of time to catch up. It was mainly a list of high frequency words that he needed to know. He only knew 19 of 30. She was even kind enough to send me the list.

My husband and I quickly came up with a schedule, repeated this to Miss Pugh to make sure our plan was going to help. Once we got the thumbs up from her, we sat our son down and explained it to him using the most upbeat, optimistic attitude, wording and voices we could muster. We wanted him to know why he would be working hard. We were worried. We both work, we have two other kids (one of them is Autistic), how would we fit this in and get him caught up.

Then we realized that we just needed to create a reasonable schedule and stick to it daily. We starting using our smart phones and e-readers (dad has a Blackberry and a Kindle Fire, mom has an iPhone and an iPad). There is a website called Pixel of Ink; they have two genres of books based on age, one for adults and one for kids. The one for kids gives tons of free e-books away that are easily downloaded to many devices using the application for Kindles and the actual Kindles. You can use a regular computer for these, too. Many of the books are free. All the books give the recommended ages for the books. These were great. First time readers, high frequency words, beginning sounds, etc.

We took it a step further. We typed the list that Miss Pugh sent to us in to Word document and saved it as a PDF file. We emailed them to ourselves, opened them on our phones and e-readers and saved them. Now we had his list with us everywhere we went. We went to Five Below, we bought workbooks there for kindergarten level. They are $2 with about 50 worksheets in each. I did a Google search and found tons of free worksheets online to print out. We added 4 pages of these to his homework every night.

Here’s our daily routine:
Wake up at 7am – Breakfast, hygiene, dressed
7:30 am – we read 2 books, he reads one to me and I read one to him. We reviewed his word list. (10 minutes)
5:00 pm - When I get home from work, we sit in the kitchen with no TV or anything to distract us. (NO CELLPHONE!!!). (30 minutes.) While I cook dinner, he does his homework. But we did it together and I made it as fun for him as I could.
6:30 pm - After dinner, we take him outside to play for 1 hour. That’s it.
7:30 pm - After play time, and while he’s in the bathtub, we review the word list. We play with flashcards. We read a story. (10 minutes)
8:00 pm - After bath time, he reads a book to mom with dad’s help. The he reads a book to dad with mom’s help. Then I read him a book that is sweet and relaxing to lull him to sleep. (10 minutes)

This totals about 1 hour of the day. Jayden is definitely worth an hour of my time.

In less than a month, Jayden was completely caught up. Miss P said she could see the results immediately once we began working steadily with him. We had a meeting with Mrs. Y and other staff members to go over the possibility of his repeating the grade. We had the meeting, but now it was only a review of how far he had come. Miss P had tested him that morning. Of the 30 words he needed to know, he now knew 36 words!!!!!!! He did a lot of hard work and it paid off. He’s so proud of himself, he sees what hard work can do.

If a parent thinks it’s not their problem, or they don’t have the time to do this – they are not being honest with themselves or they’re scared. The only things that changed were having Jayden in the kitchen with me while I was cooking and reading to him while he was in the tub. Doubling up with him and getting stuff done for me at the same time. It’s working great. He is also beginning to understand that there is a time to play and a time to work. It’s helping him be a better Jayden.

Miss P and the staff at KE School have a hard job in trying to educate our children. Yes, it’s their job to do that and they get paid to do it too. But these are our babies, not theirs. We owe it to our children to give up a little tv time, texting with a friend or anything else to ensure that they become educated and confident kids that know they have parents that love them enough to do anything and everything for them. Work with the teachers, work with your kids, in the end it only helps our kids be the best they can be. Isn’t that the goal?

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Outfit

So I haven't really talked about this with anyone, you're the first to know. I bought an outfit I can't fit into. No, not the dilusional dream where I refuse to acknowledge my real size. I purposely bought something to wear that I can't fit into. I bought a jump suit that is two sizes too small. I've been really doing much better on not eating so much junk food and not eating late at night (at least not every night). But I want to actually see the results. I am scared to death to take one of those before pictures. (do those women wear the same bra and panties in the before AND the after pics....or do they buy them in two different sizes?) So I bought this jumper in a size 12. I am currently a 16 who constently lies and says I'm a 14. Hail Mary.... Anyway, I was going to see if I can wear it and take a before shot, but I could not squeeze my fat ass into it.....and since it didn't come with that drop ass like old fashioned pjs did, I chose not to rip the material. Is it bad that I need to drop weight to squeeze myself in my motivational outfit for a before picture? LOL, oh boy. My hubby says he thinks I'm beautiful. I used to say I wanted to lose the weight for him, but that was a lie. I wanted to lose the weight in reference to other women that might be interested in him or he might look at for more than a second. I now want to lose the weight for me, myself and I. Me, Myself and I each way about 65 lbs, totalling 195lb Anna. I just want Anna to weigh in at 140lb and Anna will be happy. I'm getting into the idea more and more of how to do this, but I realize that making mistakes is bound to happen and you just gotta move forward. ZUMBA TOMORROW AT 5AM. Bed tonight at 9pm.

Am I Too Emotional?

When I was a kid, I would cry over anything remotely sad. After 40 years, I still haven't outgrown it. I cry over everything....lol....I cry when I'm sad, angry, happy, or in pain (pain giggles are too weird to explain).

Just today, I read a story on www.msn.com about a little 5 month old girl that died of a disease she was born with, they didn't expect her to make it to her second birthday. Her parents created a blog detailing her life, her possible dreams and hopes for the future as though she were writing this herself. It was funny and uplifting. She died and I cried like she was mine.

Then I realized something today. She was mine. That's why I get emotional over things. I always feel for the person and those around them and feel bad for the emotional waves they will be going through in whatever situation they are in. I worry about them and hurt for them. That makes me empathetic, not pathetic like some others like to label me for having a range of emotions for others that they just can't fathom.

My MIL and a friend make a point to watch me while we watch movies to point out when they see me cry. I think I'm going to turn the tide on them. Next time I'm watching a movie and feel myself about to cry, I'm gonna turn to them and ask why they are so cold hearted and unmoved by other people's troubles and emotions. I'm really do believe if more people would take the time to feel for someone other than themselves - maybe we would all be a little bit happier. We as a people wouldn't be to quick to look or sound cool in hurting others. We as a people wouldn't want to seek revenge. We as a people would finally learn to turn the other cheek and let things alone that are really NOT our business. If only.....

Friday, April 6, 2012

Facebook and Twitter

In the news, you see people getting in trouble all the time for what they tweet more than posting to facebook. My experience is the complete opposite. I've noticed that FB friends are a lot more bitchy and sensitive than my twitter followers. It's so odd to me that people think we are more harden or hardcore today than our parents and grandparents are.....when in reality, I don't think those folks cared as much about the possibility of an insult. If I want to insult someone, they will know it and not have to wonder at all. One friend we will call Ray is the worst of the bunch. Gets to a put where they felt trashing my over my opinions on my own wall wasn't quite enough....they had to reiterate this information on their own wall as well. LOL. Gotta laugh at the antics of some folks. I am slowly getting my facebook friends list in check with only people that understand the term agree to disagree. I don't expect everyone to share my opinion and even more, I love when people disagree and we get to have a dialogue about something so I can get a lil more knowledge than I started out with when I posted the opinion. But if you start using the caps lock, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and slamming me on your wall while taking my words and twisting them, well all I can say or do is two things....Fuck you, unfriend. Peace - and may the force be with you.....and also with you. LOL

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Healthy Life Style (Don't stick your tongue at me)

Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Bob Harper, Kelly Ripa - these are just a few of the people that say all the time to lead a healthy life style to stay fit and active. I just don't know how to do this, where to start, how to get my family on board, and where in the hell do I find the time that doesn't include missing out on time my babies need from me, my job, my husband (who completely comes in last place....he's my rock) and not to mention adult time stuff like paying bills, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. I know realistically it's a matter of juggling the time and MAKING it happen. But when I'm being pulled in so many directions but using this body that can't quite keep up like it used to, it's really hard to start and keep it going no matter how good for me I know it's supposed to be. I just wind up stopping as many times as I start. Maybe a daily diary is an option, I heard this from a trainer.....Are you fucking kidding me? I can't find the time to dedicate to working out and now you not only want me to find the time for the workout but to write too? Oh, wait a second.....I'm writing right now, huh? OK, tonight before I put head to pillow, this is going into my iphone to help me set up reminders.....and the first one is to put the iphone across the bedroom so when my alarm goes off at 5am, I'll have to get out of bed to answer. Good Night World.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Sports and the inactive fan

I love to watch the Super Bowl. I love planning the food and guest list. Oh and I really love the NBA All Star Weekend ~ slam dunk contest, three point shoot out. The excitement of the World Series can cause thrills and anxiety.

I hate the rest of the season. Lol ~ I don't watch one game of any sport except the endings. Is that sick? I don't think so. I used to watch all the games I could in the NBA seasons. But after a bit you start losing out because it's hard to remember teams, trades, averages, triple doubles, etc.

Now I just listen to the news, enjoy watching the highlights on ESPN.com, and the low lights of players on YouTube. It's a time saver for seasons that just don't seem as competitive and fun as before. The big game is enough for me. (and the party I get to throw too). Lol

Dogs

I wanted my son to grow up with a dog as a pet and a friend. We brought Papo (chihuahua) into our family. Jayden loves him. They lay next to each other and play together. They really love each other so much.

I hate that fucking dog.

He pisses everywhere even though he's trained. He eats everything that's inedible. He's eats everything else too. He annoys our cats all day to the point that they jacked him up in revenge at night. The problem with that is he sleeps in our room. Night battles.

Oh how I love my son. The proof is that this dog is still alive.

For now....

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Sharing

I love my son, Jayden. He's five. He's my buddy, my playmate and my personal comedian. He loves to love. He's very affectionate, even his teacher comments on how sweet and loving he is giving her lots of hugs and kisses. I'm lucky to be his target of love most of the time. He loves to cuddle and kiss and hug and hold hands and all of it. Today, he decided to share his head cold. I hate my son.

A Pimple

I hated getting pimples as a teen. Now when I get one I feel like I'm taking a step backward or maybe it's natures way of telling me I'm still not mature enough to hold the title of adult. It made me realize how many pimples we have in our lives. My definition of a pimple is something that might only make an annoying blotch on our life for a couple of days all the way to a slowly building volcanic event that will either erupt without warning or die down quietly. Or there's the third option - we break it open on purpose and wonder not only why it hurts so much but where did all that shit in there come from to begin with.....EEEEWWWWWWW. My current pimple is weight loss. I spend more time typing, talking, researching, and lying about it than actually cooking healthy and working out. I need to pop this jammy and asap. ok, time to research some menus.....bbl. LOL

Friday, January 20, 2012

41 and still kicking

Today is my birthday. Oh joy. (not) Here are the reasons it sucks. My birthday is right after Christmas. Everyone is broke. While I do understand this - my birthday tends to come at the same time every year, does planning ever occur to anyone? Put a side a lil cash or one of my Christmas gifts for my birthday? Must require too much thinking. My kids and (most) everyone younger are now calling me 41 years young - is this really suppose to make me feel young? You never called me that until you thought of me as old. Not one of my friends ever tries to do something for me for my birthday. Maybe I don't have any friends, then huh? I had to make my own birthday party. Plan - cook - serve - participate - oh and the worst part is having to find a designated driver for my MIL. (she's an undercover lush, sssshhhhhh - everyone knows but her. LOL) and of course, my hubby is the bomb. he's taking me out tomorrow but now they are calling for snow and ice to fall overnight and tomorrow so that might not happen either. I can't wait for 42.

Paula Deen - The Beef Stew - Cont'd

IT WAS GROSS. But this might not be the actual fault of the stew, as my favorite stew in Dinty Moore stew and nothing is better than that. If it doesn't take like that, ugh. But now I'm wondering if the missing ingredient was diabetic medication. Maybe that was something she forgot to write in and I should not have attempted this recipe until after her news. I get that she might remember to say now and then that her recipes are for special occasions or that you should eat these in moderation, but does she cook anything that I can eat daily? Answer - hell no. The answer is no because if she did, she would not be in her own situation at this point. Get off the butter and off your ass and work out. done.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Paula Deen - The Beef Stew

I'm probably way behind the times with this one, but I've never made any Paula Deen recipe until today. Today's menu for my family is her Beef Stew. I'll take a picture and post it up here when it's ready. Hopefully I won't be embarrassing myself. LOL. If I don't post back, we are all in the hospital waiting for my recovery after my kids beat the dickens out of me. lol.

Trenton, New Jersey - Capital of NJ - Experiments of Mack

I was born and raised in the city of Trenton, capital of the state of New Jersey. I've heard all the jokes about my state and have not been too keen on everyone believing that the Sopranos and Jersey Shore are valid representations of our beloved state. But hey, it does provide entertainment and brings people here for tourism (with their money). So really, it's no big deal. I moved out of Trenton when my children started middle school. I moved out so my children could have a better education in Hamilton Twp schools. How sad it is that we needed to move a few blocks but have such a huge impact on their education and safety? I've always been proud of the rich history that is Trenton, NJ. As an inner city, it's always had its struggles to maintain jobs, safety, education.....just as any other city. But Trenton is now dealing with it's biggest dilemma. A man who wanted to claim the title of mayor more than he actually wants to do the work of the mayor. Our city is in a decline of safety - no one is safe, no one is even thinking at this point that it couldn't happen to them. Everyone is scared of being shot. Everyone except the fools with the guns. This city is being "lead" by a man that knows nothing of how to lead. He doesn't know how to command respect or how to implement a plan. I don't believe for one moment that I would know how to run a city......that's why I would not run for a job I couldn't handle. I truly believe that thought never occurred to him. Wanting to have the title and wanting to do the work are completely different agendas. He should show that his focus is on the safety of the city's residents and not on his wallet. Requesting pay raises after laying off police officers is not just in bad taste, it's a threat to the safety of those that brought him into office. He hasn't done anything to have EARNED a pay raise. I guess since he's short enough to not even have to duck a bullet, it's really no concern of his how many fly around the city.

Friday, January 6, 2012

I Screwed It Up - But Not On Purpose

I did not begin my workout on the morning I thought I would. I didn't reset my alarm to get up at 5 instead of 6. Then I got my monthly visit from Aunt Flow, the first since switching from an IUD to the Depo shot. It's very heavy. It surprised me because I wasn't expecting it for another couple of weeks. It's ok, I'm just readjusting to start my new habit on Sunday, hopefully giving myself time to stop cramping so much. If not, I'll just have to work thru it. Supposedly, exercise is good for this. I'd rather it chocolate and potato chips, but hey, that's probably how I got so fat in the first place. But it did give me an idea to really do some research on the way I'd like to start eating and different exercises I'd like to do. There is a new show starting in a couple of weeks - The Revolution on ABC. I'll be watching daily as it's really meant to help people who want to live a happy and healthy lifestyle. That's what I want. So the first thing I learned was to use a home gym that doesn't have to be all expensive and complicated. They used a hula hoop, dumb bells, exercise ball and jump rope. I can afford that and do that too. Now to be perfectly honest, I can't hula hoop to save a life. BBBUUUUTTTTTT, the Nintendo Wii has the balance board game with the hula hoop game on there. I'm gonna do it Saturday (tomorrow), it might help out my cramps. LOL I have dumb bells and the ball, just no jump rope which is ok. I can't picture jumping rope in the house for exercise and then telling my 5 yr old that he can't do it. I'll use my invisible rope. It'll be fine and no noisy rope hitting the floor or tangling up into my legs causing me to fall down, breaking a bone which will force me once again to give up on my workouts. (I'm going to buy one tomorrow). SWAK/ANNA

Monday, January 2, 2012

My Next Attempt

I'm hoping that I'll stick with my own desire to lose weight, be healthy and find my energy again. I build it up in my head and my heart so much. I have this www.sparkpeople.com account that I never stick with....I just don't know why. I really need to drop at least 50 lbs. I even really know how to do it. It still doesn't make me do it. No motivation? Maybe that's the problem, no motivation. I have all these New Year's Resolutions like I do every year. I think if I can just get my ass out of bed early a few times and create this to be a new habit - I'll be ok. The main problem is that I am alone in this battle. The battle is not the weight loss. That's the easy part. The battle is with myself and getting my head and my heart on board to do what I know I need to do - and soon. I'm turning 41 yrs old in a couple of weeks. I'm setting my alarm clock to get me up tomorrow morning at 5am. I'm putting the alarm across the room so I'll have to get up and get it instead of hitting snooze. I'm getting my clothes together tonight. My goal for tomorrow morning is a weigh in, measurement session and to do 10 minutes of Zumba on my Wii. Maybe - hopefully - possibly I'll do another 10 minutes in the afternoon. I want to do 10 minutes twice a day until I can do 20 minutes straight. Then I'll work my way toward 30 and 40 and 50 and then ONE HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not worrying so much about what I eat as much as I worry about the healthy stuff I should be eating. I need to add in fruits and veggies and water. I'll touch base with you soon and let you know how I'm doing.

Gift Giving? Oh My Lord....

So yesterday I posted on facebook a poll question. What was the worst gift you've ever received? I posted that the worst gift I've ever received was coloring book pages that were put into a clothing gift box and wrapped up. I received this for Christmas two years in a row and my daughters each received this for their birthdays. They were 9 and 10 at the time. I didn't list the person who gave it to me, but my stepdad cut in and said that's all she had to give. Since he cut in, I feel like I have the option now to admit it was my sister. She is a smoker, she buys junk 24/7 and she's not thrifty in the least. She came to birthday parties and other parties always knowing well in advance about the parties. Never brings a proper gift.....let alone contributing to even her own kids parties and things that I've kicked out money for. As you can probably tell, we don't get a long. The last time I saw her was just after I threw a baby shower for her during her 4 pregnancy (but it was her first son). I invited friends of hers and her boyfriends family. I paid for it all, my family and I did all the work....we made sure she got tons of stuff needed and wanted for her baby. She left my home telling me thank you and that she loved me. I haven't seen her for nearly 4 years now.....not even her children. She actually had another son after this one but I've never met him. Her dad (my stepdad) knows the truth, but for whatever reason he felt the need to defend her behavior. LOL - oh to be daddy's little girl.