Tuesday, March 25, 2014

My Favorite Things About Being Human

I just saw a post on Facebook by someone who doesn't like to do much more than complain.  The only thing that makes her happier than complaining is to have people agree with her complaints.  She complains about people being different from her.  She complains about people that act just like her.  It got me to thinking about the things I have learned to appreciate about people.

There are so many types of people around me that I know I'm very lucky to have so much diversity in my life.  My neighborhood when I was a kid had a mix of Hungarian, Polish, Scottish, Irish, Italian and just plain white.  My elementary school was the same.....just a handful of non-white kids. Junior high was waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy different.  Lots Puerto Ricans and African Americans.  It was a mini melting pot.  High school was wonderful, Asians, Jamaicans, folks from South American countries, Haitians, Chinese.  And I was never the type of person to only be friends with any one type of person.

All of that was much different than my home life.  My father is Puerto Rican, my mom is Irish and Polish.  But they were divorced and I was really growing up in a white household.  My parents (mom and step-dad) didn't want me to really be friends with non-whites.....they didn't mind me associating but I always felt the criticism from them with being actual friends with these kids.  I know the fact that I dated those boys was a HUGELY insulting thing for my parents.

Not saying I didn't like who I was or other white people, but they were the norm for me my entire childhood.  I wanted to meet and experience things, places, food and people that weren't like me.  I still do this now.  I love to watch how even with vastly different cultures and backgrounds, we all usually wind up in the same place doing the same stuff.

Example for me is opera music.  I hated it as a kid.  It was not in English, I couldn't get with the instruments being played.  And those crazy costumes....LOL.  Nope, not for me.  Then someone told me not to worry about the music itself.  To close my eyes and concentrate on feelings opera would let me experience.  And sure enough they were right.  I closed my eyes, I didn't understand a word I heard.  But I cried.  I felt sorrow.  I felt anguish.  I felt elated.  I felt like flying.  I still don't know much about opera, but when I do listen to it.........my eyes are always closed.

I had a friend that I knew was African American.  Nope....LOL.  I went to her house when I was about 14 years old.  And she spoke Jamaican (Patwa?) with her family and I'm glad my eyes didn't fall out.  She's Jamaican, but without the thick accent I'd assumed a person from Jamaica would have, I didn't catch on.  I had another friend that was Vietnamese.  The first time I was invited for dinner I was so excited.  I practiced using chopsticks so I would not look like an idiot.  I got there and found out we were having spaghetti and meatballs.  Turns out they didn't even own any chopsticks.  See?  Never assume.

I guess the big lessons I've learned are as follows.........

Don't assume
Be prepared for differences
Be prepared for no differences
Enjoy everything when the opportunity arises
And most of all..........share it back and forth

Things That Irk My Nerves ~ Part 1

I'm having that sort of day when I just need to vent about stupid people.  If ignorance is bliss, that would explain so much.


  • people that are mean to animals for fun.  
  • lateness - not as in tardy, but people that catch on to shit after it's over
  • postings - why do you think I'd believe your relationship with someone started over a year ago when you've had me meeting and speaking to various new boyfriends between then and now?  making it a significant event on Facebook doesn't zap the past out of the mind.  
  • unanswered emails - it's rude.  it's like electronically ignoring my request to help you do your job.
  • ego - I have one, too.  But the different between you and I is that I'm aware of mine.  I do think I'm the shit when I make achievements.  You make no achievements so that just makes you shit instead of The Shit.  
  • you don't have to do what I'm asking you to do, but you should do what you said you would do.  
  • don't stop in the middle if you're not going to get to the end ever. finish what you started or just don't start it. 
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH yes!!!!  Ok, I feel a bit better.  

Monday, February 17, 2014

Gardening for Beginners (I'm the beginner)

I would love to garden.  A couple of years ago my husband bought me rose bushes.  I spent hours keeping them maintained and they stayed beautiful for a few years until we moved.  Now I want to restart that time.  It gives me something to do while my son plays outside with his friends.  So I’m started a container garden.  We have a lot of ground hogs and squirrels that I just have to accept will be there; so container gardens make the most sense.  

I’ve been doing some research on it.  I think I’m going to start with a two or three flowers, tomatoes, peppers and herbs.  That’s it.  I don’t want to get over my head and not be able to maintain it all.  My first step is letting my neighbor know about my project because we share a fence and most of mine will be hanging from this fence onto my side of the yard.  Shouldn’t be a problem at all, but I like to keep folks enlightened.  

I don’t think I’ll get to a point where I’ll be wearing big ugly gardening hats and living off of my garden but I want to give it a shot and see what I can do.  Hopefully, this takes off.  I am definitely planning on getting my family involved a bit but mostly it’s just going to be for me.  Spending some time outside, getting dirty and getting Vitamin D.  

Sunday, February 16, 2014

To (Some) Florida Prosecutors....why?

Here’s the scene.  White man with gun.  Black person with no gun.  Bang Bang.  Black person is dead.  White person goes to jail.  Black person is buried.  White person goes home.  

That just doesn’t quite make any sense does it?  Welcome to Florida!!!!


So why do Florida prosecutors keep charging people with the wrong crime?  Are they unaware they will not get a conviction?  Orrrrrrr, are they completely aware that they will not get a conviction?  Hmmmmmm.  


First degree murder has specific criteria.  It has to be proven to be premeditated, which essentially means that the person committing the crime planned to purposely harm or kill the victim.  It can also mean the person was engaged in a felony crime and happened to have harmed or killed the victim.  Now obviously, George Zimmerman and Michael Dunn did not know their victims prior to killing them (Doesn’t that just sound fucked up) so premeditation is not applicable.  They were committing no felony crime so that brings that over to the null side of the list as well.  


In my own opinion, these prosecutors are quite aware they can’t get a conviction on those first degree murder charges.  However, they are under huge amounts of pressure from the public, the media and mostly definitely the family/friends of the victim.  Are they succumbing to the pressure?  I would sincerely hope not.  That would just be one more check on the list showing they are ill equipped to handle their position.  And don’t get me wrong, it’s not a position or job I would want to have at all.  But if you can’t handle your handle, let it go.  


If you can’t get a conviction, how do you get yourself off the hook with the public, the media and the family/friends of the victim?  You do your job in court, you go before the media and make all sorts of promises to do your best.  


And then when the jury is put into a position of having to follow the rules of the law for first degree murder, they will be in a position of finishing what you couldn’t handle.  They have to find this person not guilty.  And they are subjected to the hostility of everyone.  How could the jury not convict?  Is the jury white?  Was the jury racist?  Was the jury stupid?  

The prosecutors can then go before the media and have a pity party explaining about how hard they worked and that the jury just didn’t see it their way.  BULLSHIT!!!!  

I understand that every victim’s family wants the killer to sit in the electric chair or spend 5 years beyond death in a prison cell.  But the law just doesn’t work that way.  You know it.  Lots of others know it.  Why not explain it and stick to what you can get a conviction on?  Charge the killer for the crime he committed.  It may not look as good to the family, but at the very least, you can sleep with a clear heart that you did your job the way you were supposed to do.  
Why are you making an unpaid, uneducated jury take the blame on your inability to communicate the truth about the cases?    

Roseanne and Cosby Show ~ From Rags to Riches (maybe some day)



Two of my all time favorite tv shows are Roseanne and The Cosby Show .  It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized I was living in Landford but was hoping to achieve a brownstone in Brooklyn.  I think that’s still my goal.  

We used to struggle to keep the shut off notices from piling up.  We struggled for years.  Created debt trying to live beyond our means.  But one thing that Khris and I both agree on is to NOT have anyone but us clean up or support our family.  We’ve definitely made some financial decisions that were selfish and stupid.  But we are in the process of cleaning it up and we are actually getting to a point where all this hard work and sacrifice is paying off.  

So I guess I need to find a new tv show to watch…..something in the middle of the two?  
Everybody Loves Raymond?  Hmmmmm, it’s very true that I can’t stand my mother in law…..LOL…...I’ll have to think on this one.  Isn’t it really weird how some shows really are about your life?  I’ll never be classy enough to be Clair Huxtable.  But THANK YOU to all the heavens above that I am not Roseanne.  LOL.  

Friday, February 14, 2014

Fat and Staying Fat


Exactly how I got this big is the typical crap you hear all day.  I had kids, I was over 30, I got married, yada yada yada blah blah blah.  Here’s the real deal…..I ate, I didn’t move, I ate some more and I got fat.  Oh, and I stayed fat.  

I completely know every single thing I need to do to lose weight.  The only thing I can’t figure out is why I don’t do anything with all this knowledge.  Why don’t I get up off the couch and Shake My Groove Thing till I lose some weight?  Why don’t I eat those fruits and veggies each day?  Why don’t I track my daily intake?  Why don’t I drink that water?  For me, I think I found my reason.  

I thought it was laziness.  I thought I needed a new schedule.  I thought I needed inspiration.  Nope.  I am in this alone and I don’t know how to do it alone yet.  I still haven’t figured it out yet but I’m working on it.  My hubby doesn’t have time, my kids are kids.  Hmmmmm, so there’s my dilemma.  I need to work on this one.  I’ll get back to you if I figure out an answer.  LOL I have no support system of someone helping me change the eating style and to stay motivated and on task. I'm an adult. I shouldn't need help, right? WRONG!!!!

I'll shout it loud and proud.....I need help!!!! I hate being fat. I miss my thin body. I miss the energy. I miss bending to tie my shoes without moving my belly out of the way. I miss running up the stairs. Why can't I love water? Why can't I love broccoli? Why does an Lays potato chips be full of antioxidants? Why? Why? Why? LOL. Oh, drama time is done.

Autistic Child, But She’s An Adult


My daughter, Tika, is pretty freaking fabulous.  She was diagnosed at 19 months old as autistic.  I had no clue what that event meant…….sometimes I still don’t quite know what it means.  Life with her was extremely difficult and I was NOT a good mom by any means.  I was young, single, inexperienced.  But the teachers and support staff in her school system, Mercer County Special Services School District, gave us the tools to help her become the talented 24 year old young lady she is today.  

She has got to be the strongest person I’ve ever met.  When she was between the ages of about 2 until her early teens, she would frequently pull out her own hair, bang her head until she bled, etc.  She still does those things now, but she’s aware of it and why she’s doing it.  So we’ve set up ways to help her calm those feelings.  I distinctly remember the doctor’s wanting me to put her on medicines that would calm her or help her in various ways.  The school came to me and asked me one simple favor…..don’t medicate her, just let us do what we need to do and we can all do what’s best for her.  Please.  

I’ve never regretted a moment.  I do wish from time to time that she wasn’t autistic, but then she would not be the daughter I loved all these years.  She’s special beyond autism.  She’s talented.  She’s beautiful.  She’s intelligent.  She’s silly.  And she’s got the craziest giggle.  LOL.  She’s going to always be home with me and that’s ok too.  My only worry when it comes to my daughter is what will become of her when I pass away.  

How do you handle life for an autistic adult when you’re dead?  It’s called planning ahead.  The next few years, a lot of my time will be spent preparing her and our finances to cover her life beyond my own.  Who is going to handle her menopause?  Who is going to make sure she’s eating and bathing each day?  Who is going to get her those flu shots?  Haircuts?  Dental appointments?  Who will make sure she has her own space so it can be just the way she wants it?  Who will make sure no one hurts my bab

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Dr. Phil & Friends

Well.  Well.  Well.

I've been tweeting for the Dr. Phil Show for nearly 6 months now and let me tell you about something that happened that's come as a big shock to me.  I made new friends.  Shocking, right?  Most of these ladies and gentleman are just out of this world nice.  And yet, it's not some big corny party because we disagree a lot.  Here are just a few of my favorite people......I like to many of them to discuss them all.  LOL.

V ~ she's the first person I've met online that I swear we were meant to be friends.  I think in a past life we already were.  She's funny, sweet and sassy.  Big heart, but definitely not a push over.  And my goodness, she is the fast FB person......she never leaves you wondering if she saw your post.  Quick Draw McGraw.  LOL.

J ~ now this miss missy has a snazzy whit that will make you cringe while you're double over laughing.  Her sarcasm is well above normal range and I'm always glad to be on her side.  LOL.  She gets along with everyone, even though she's a lot like me and can't stand the same ones I can't stand.  Snort!!! LOL.

R ~ he's the mature one.....maybe because he's one of the only guys.  But he's smart enough not to get caught up in all the drama.......he and I inbox and talk about everyone else.  SSSHHHHHHH.


Now it's the more interesting time.  Just a few words about the couple of chicks I just can't stand........maybe I should ssssssssccccccccrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaammmmmmmmmm it or ask for dozens and dozens of prayers for all the things I've been through in my life.  Sorry, two inside jokes......these two twits are very, VERY judgmental and just plain stupid.

Season 12 will be ending in a few more months.  But I'm hoping that if they bring us back to tweet for Season 13 or not, I'll still be able to find common ground with these special people.  I think it would be a pleasure to be able to travel and meet these wonderful people.  If I ever get a chance to meet them, I'm going to beg Dr. Phil's staff for coffee mugs and give them as gifts.