Wednesday, December 4, 2013

How Not To Raise a Daughter

After nearly 24 years of being a mom, I think I have more advice on what not to do when raising a daughter than what should be done.  According to my daughter, K, I did a really bad job.  I didn't force her into a seated position to make her do her homework.  I didn't punish her often enough.  I didn't teach her how to be an adult.  I didn't.  I didn't.  I didn't.

I also don't recall teaching her to be in debt, or do everything in her power to be borderline homeless, how to excessive amounts of tattoos, how to overly dramatic, how to drop out of college twice, etc.  I didn't.  I didn't.  I didn't.  

Maybe I was too lenient.  Maybe I should have done all those things.  But I learned I am a person of extremes.  If I had forced her into that seated position......she very well might still be sitting there.  She's a good person, don't get me wrong.  But as with most parents, I wanted her to be better than me at her age.  I'm hopeful she'll turn things around this time.

I guess my biggest challenge with her now is how to be a mom to an adult that wants a mom but doesn't want me to "mom" her.  Hmmmmm.  The foots seriously about to come down.  But again, I'm that person of extremes.......if my foot comes down, it'll probably boot her out the door before she's ready again.  I'm signing she and I up for a budgeting class to take together.  I'm hoping we can learn from the class and each other in a way that is more constructive for the both of us.

It would be really nice for her to remember that her mom never gave up on her.  I didn't.  I didn't.  I didn't.