Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Music - Is it really universal?

One of the lil bebe kids I wrote of yesterday just pissed me off for a whole 1/60 of a minute. I'm sitting on my porch listening to Klymaxx's I'd Still Say Yes with Howard Hewitt. It's one of my favs....it's just a good song. 'Lil Italy' comes up to me and asks what I am listening to, I say music and he says what kind of music. I said R&B music at the moment. He says why are you listening to that. I said because I like it, don't you like R&B music? He says yeah I like it but I didn't know you could. I said do you know it means Rhythm and Blues, not Rhythm and Black? He walked away. LMAO

I have always felt that music and art was the one area of the world that doesn't care a wit about what you look like. It doesn't care about gender, skin color, two arms or one head. It really doesn't even care if you notice it. It just needs to be. I love to listen almost any kind of music. It teaches me about more people and more experiences than those in my lil world. I get to hear others express what matters to them. I get to put myself into someone else's lil world.

It's just a great thing to not even do any of that. Just let your body flow with the music, let it rule your instincts into doing anything that comes next. Here's a few that do that for me.....

You and I by Jodeci
Amazed by Lonestar
TShirt and Panties by Adina Howard
Lately by Surface
Secret Garden by Quincy Jones
Weak by SWV

Too many to really name now that I think about it....

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Bebe Kids

My block is full of Bebe's kids.....remember those? Little ass ignorant kids with fucked up manners and personalities that make you understand the need for abortion? Ugh, not saying I'd like to get rid of any of the brats on my block. For the most part they are nice kids. But 90% of them are only after what they can get out of each other. My son, Jayden, is one of the younger kids. But we are the only house with a pool and a Wii that he and his friends are allowed to play with....and did I mention I feed the kids when they are at my house?

These kids have decided that they only come over for those reasons and are content to use my son. I face this dilemma. Do I remove the kids from who he can play with or do I allow them to use my son so he has someone his own age to play with? Most of these kids are mostly nice, but if they are not on the Wii, playing with his toys, or in the pool they pretty much ignore him. I think the part that's the most fucked up is that I've discussed this with the other parents. It was no help at all.

These are the things that make me wish for the parental hand book I never got at birth. I could deal with many things, but watching kids mess over my son is not one of them. LOL, what can you expect from Bebe kids.....

The Mrs ~ Marriage Sex

Now the first thing I have to say about this topic is that the big myth that sex gets worse after marriage is a big myth itself. I don't think it gets bad, I think it's just not as frequent. My sex life with my husband has it's ups and downs in terms of frequency, not delivery. When we do have the time together, it's gotten better. He's gotten better. I hope I've gotten better.

How can something get worse when you're learning more and more about what pleases your partner? How can something get worse when you're learning more and more what NOT to do that annoys your partner. People like me tend to over worry about this topic. My husband and I have never had any issues with cheating or anything like that. We are completely dedicated to each other, to the point that other people ask us for advice on a regular basis. He is my best friend. He's actually the greatest friend I've ever had. We can hang out, we flirt, we lean on each other, we are the biggest cheerleaders for each other. We work on our relationship every day.....but we also have a bigger strong point than I see in some of our acquaintances. We don't argue over things because we talk. We hardly ever argue. We might really argue a couple of times in a year. But for the most part I think the fact that we keep an open dialogue all the time keeps it so we are not nervous in bringing up any topic. It's normal for us to talk about anything. We recognize each others' strengths and weaknesses. We each compensate for the other.

All this keeps us having a happy sex life. Lately, we've gotten a bit more creative in doing things.....it's actually been really eye opening. I think reading 50 Shades of Grey helped that along since it made me want to get outside the box I've created around myself. I'm more willing to push and try something different. I'm lucky to have him.....because he's willing to indulge me and create some more fantasies....LOL.

The Mother In Law Saga continues......

I'm quite sure I've annoyed my mil over the years, but it's mainly for doing the unthinkable thing of not being who she expects me to be.....black, rich and adoring her. I can't be black, I haven't been able to win that lottery yet and I know her too well to adore anything about her. But it does give me a pausing moment to really think about the dilemma my husband is in because of the two of us. Does he defend the woman who brought him life? Or does he defend the woman he chose to share that life with? Or does he sit on his hands and hope it goes away? lol.

Her ability to never discuss anything but surface stuff is a huge barrier to getting through any obstacles in her relationships with other people. I can actually step out of the situation and see that she has these issues with pretty much everyone. It's her fault and not her fault at the same time. She has an unhealthy relationship that she knows is not right, but she's stuck in the hopeful dream state of what could happen if or when. With that being said, she quite the woman in her own right but she doesn't seem to realize her own success. Sad, right? She would be mortified to know the pity I feel for her. Pity, not sympathy. Every situation is what you make it to be.

I wish her the best. I hope my husband figures out a way to let them get close and be more of a family. I'm not sure if she'll let it happen, but I want him to know that he did the best by his mother. Maybe someday she'll see him for the man he's made of himself. That's not something either of us did.....he did that and he deserves the credit for it alone.